Several days ago I posted “A Dispassionate Observer.” It prompted an excessively flattering comment from a beloved niece. I must correct her. There is nothing great about me except that I am, like she, a child of God.

This is part of what I wrote.:

“I”m an old man now, but I’m still naive, and I still have what might be called a high view of sex and marriage. It’s not impossible to remain a virgin until marriage and remain faithful to your spouse. I did. Nevertheless, I do no condemn those who take another path. Every life and circumstance is different.”

Now for an explanation:

There is nothing particularly praiseworthy about my views of sex and marriage and my conduct. I am a product of my times. When I was growing up in the thirties and forties there had been no sexual revolution. There was no pill. There was no internet. Many stars of stage and screen were treated as candidates for sainthood, and the indiscretions of politicians remained under wraps. In addition to that, I had immersed myself in the sort of literature where heroes were paragons of chivalry and the heroines were without spot or blemish. That was my world. I was somewhat aware of the dark side, but I attempted to ignore it.

As I approached maturity, I became more and more sexually aware, but I still tended to put girls on a pedestal . At that time in my life, I never thought of girls that I admired in a carnal way, and I suppose I believed them incapable of having sexual desires. I probobly realized that I was being somewhat unrealistic, but I was very reluctant to abandon my beautiful fantasies. However, in male company I often pretended to be a sexually experienced sophisticate. I did not wish to be labeled as a blue-nosed prude, and I refused to carry a banner championing my true beliefs.

This was my state of mind when I first started dating. My attitude slowly evolved as I experienced more of life. However, I always retained a certain naivete about sex and male-female relationships.

A few more observations.

Like every man I know, I am physically attracted to beautiful young women; and I previously had a weakness for pornography. The appeal of pornography virtualy disappeared as my testosterone level decreased to almost nil.

Even though I was attracted by nubile beauties, I was never truly lustful. There was no “could have, would have.” Instead, I had a strong wish that the character of a lovely woman was as beautiful as her looks, and my sense of right and wrong was so strong that I was never seriously tempted to violate my wedding vows.

Sexually provocative women such as Marylyn Monroe and Jayne Mansfield did not attract me. Women of that type appeared somewhat vulgar. I felt a bit of pity for them. Their over-the-top sort of behavior seem to reflect some deep longing for real love, something they never seemed to find.

I discovered that female dwellers of the demi-monde are often products of abuse by members of their family or by boyfriends. Any beautiful young girl must expect to negotiate a hazardous passage if she is to preserve her virginity and her virtue.

It took me a long time to realize that females probably are just as prone to sexual thoughts, temptations, and behaviors as their male counterparts.

I have no homosexual inclinations, but I can intellectually appreciate a homosexual’s dilemma. His or her feelings are often very intense, and he or she believes them to be inborn. All that being said, very few persons are forced to engage in homosexual acts. A homosexual’s situation is similar to that of a heterosexual male or female who is unable to find a mate. In either case, the traditional church response is to insist on celibacy.. But many people are unwilling to accept that answer. So long as they do not push their own way of life on others, I suggest that we let these people make their peace with God and live out their lives as they wish.

As for the larger LGBT movement, I totally oppose it.

The human sexual drive is a very powerful emotion. It can lead to something beautiful, but it can also lead to aggression, violence, betrayal. jealousy, and bloodshed. I am thankful that I had a long and relatively stable relationship with my loving wife. I wish all of you either equal or greater felicity in marriage.

Remember, no one is without sin, and God loves us all .