Govermentium

My friend Norman recently sent this to me.  It’s too rich not to share with everyone I know. 

From the spelling in the original, I assume it originated in Britain.  I rewrote some of it in my own words, but the basic ideas remain intact.

Truth must be disseminated.

GOVERNMENTIUM

Oxford University researchers have discovered the densest element yet known to science.

The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to require from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years.  It does not decay, but instead undergoes  periodic reorganizations in which some of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons simply exchange places.  This causes Governmentium’s mass to increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes (or super-morons).

Whenever the number of morons and isodopes reach a certain concentration we have what is referred to as a critical morass, a highly unstable state that is liable to a violent explosion with catastrophic consequences.  

Scientists hypothesize that another outcome is possible.  When catalyzed with sufficient money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that is just as inert as Governmentium  but has half as many pillocks and twice the number of morons and isodopes.  At that point, everything comes to a standstill, and the entire system simply collapses.

In America, we call Governmentium the Deep State

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