The Dead Duck

The high cost of complex medical equipment adds significantly to the expense of medical care.  Of course, these high-tech devices contribute to our health and longevity. 

They are also very useful in the veterinary profession.

A woman brought her comatose duck to the veterinary’s office.  The vet examined the duck and then turned to the woman.

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Watson, but your duck is dead.”

“Dead?”, the woman exclaimed.  “Oh, I loved that duck.  Are your sure he’s dead?  After all, that was a rather superficial examination.  Are you sure he can’t be revived?

“Well,” said the vet. “I detect absolutely no signs of life, but if you insist I will do some further tests.

“Yes,” said the woman.  “Please do.  I insist!”

The vet then left the examining room and came back in a few minutes with a Labrador retriever.  The dog put his front paws on the examining table and worked his way around it, sniffing the duck from head to toe.  The dog then turned his head toward the vet and shook his head slowly.

The vet left the room with the Labrador and returned shortly with a cat.  He placed the cat on the table, and the cat also sniffed the duck from head to toe, finally turning his head to the vet and giving a soft meow.

The vet took the cat from the room and returned.

“Mrs. Watson,” he said, “There’s absolutely no doubt.  Your duck is dead.”

“Oh, that’s awful,” the woman said.  “I feel terrible.  I loved that duck. But life will go on, I suppose.  How much do I owe you for this visit?

“Three hundred dollars.”

“Three hundred dollars!!!  Three hundred dollars just to tell me my duck is dead?”

“Well, ma’am, I was just going to charge forty dollars, but with the lab test and the cat scan . . .”

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